tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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