He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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