She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Operation Purity has been aborted
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
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I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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