I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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