your parents love me but you hate me
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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