So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
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if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
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Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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