just come out here and I will go home with you...
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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