just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
no, he came in my armpit
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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