Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize