just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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