When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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