She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize