I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
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I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My breasts were aching with rage.
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Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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