that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the condom got lost in my hair
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize