she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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