Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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