I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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