ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize