i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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