I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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