Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
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