Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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