the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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