I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Duck Duck Cougar?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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