We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize