K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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