if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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