Sponge bath it is.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
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I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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