Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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