I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize