We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize