We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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