I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
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my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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