i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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