haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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