he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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