Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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