I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize