He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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