I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm both gender and math confused
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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