So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize