I hate all girls vehemently.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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