how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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