Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
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I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
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They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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