hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
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Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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