NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize