chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
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Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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