You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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