Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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