I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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